I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
