i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
