I bet he comes in French.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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