hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
