you would pick up someone in the library
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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