Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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