Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
