im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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