First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
