we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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