Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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