what day is it and did you see me today?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
