Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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