Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
