$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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