I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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