nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
