I think I am morally bankrupt
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize