I feel like abortions should bother me more
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
