He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
