Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
