Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did we literally take a cab across the street
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
