Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
