That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
