So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
