I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
