Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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