It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
