She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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