My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I believe in your delicious
I'm always down for nudity.
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