You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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