Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
