The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
