I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
