I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So much Jack, so little girl.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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