Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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