Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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