My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
