So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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