Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
