Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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