3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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