I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
