Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, beer. Big fan.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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