She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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