It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
