I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
