He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
