haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
