just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
