dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
