I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
