we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
