Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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