one two three fourrrrnication!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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