Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dear god my vagina.
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