wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
