is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
