I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
