After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
