Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
